I just read a blog post by a friend from my writers group, and she was talking about facing our fears. I think it was a pretty great post and very timely for me. Having dealt with such a bad health episode over the winter, it really put a few things in perspective. In my previous posts you have read how upset and depressed I was at times. There were days when I felt completely hopeless and like my life would never mean anything because I would never feel like doing anything, therefore nothing was ever going to be accomplished. This is one of the biggest fears I have.
Now that I am feeling better, things don't seem quite so bleak. I am getting more active in things I enjoy doing such as my writing, and am even able to crochet little bits at a time again. I have also started working on improving my artistic skills in the area of drawing. I have always loved to draw but never felt I was any good at it. I am teaching myself now through a variety of book and online tutorials; if you've been to my Facebook page you have probably already seen some of my work. It is a great feeling to be able to do things without paying for every move by being in pain for three or four days afterward.
So, in regards to psoriatic arthritis/psoriasis and fear, you might be asking yourself how the two relate. Many people with this disease have very valid fears. For instance, during rough times I fear that I will never get better. Others fear how people will react to them if they are covered in "unsightly" patches of red or dry skin, especially if it is scaly. While these fears are common, we should not let them rule our lives. With medication and time, I find that I always manage to get through the rough arthritis patches, so when it feels like there is no hope, I try to remind myself that there is light at the end of the tunnel. When I start breaking out in spots and want to run away to join a family of leopards (because that's the only place I think I'll fit in), I try to find ways to be comfortable being me. This means that if I am hot and want to wear shorts even though my legs are covered, so what? Think positive. It is sunny weather now, and sunlight really helps clear the psoriasis. Plus, why should I suffer by wearing my blue jeans in 90 degree, blistering heat while others are wearing whatever they please? I have a RIGHT TO BE COMFORTABLE,TOO! It's taken many years and a huge amount of support for me to be able to believe in this, but I am thankful that I finally woke up and stopped being afraid of what everyone else just doesn't understand. (There are more of my thoughts on this in last week's posts.)
I would like to hear from you about your fears and how you deal with them! Leave a comment or feel free to drop me an e-mail :)