Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Faith

I just received a phone call from the pharmacy that my medication has arrived and I can pick it up in 1 hour, YAY!  If I could I would be dancing around the room...give me a month or two LOL!  I think that nothing says it better about handling this long struggle than the words of the following song:

Faith of the Heart
Rod Stewart

It's been a long road
Getting from there to here
It's been a long time
But my time is finally near

And I can feel the change in the wind right now
Nothing's in my way
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No they're not gonna hold me back

Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith
I've got faith
Faith of the heart

It's been a long night
Trying to find my way
Been through the darkness
Now I finally have my day
And I will see my dreams come alive at last
I will touch the sky
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No there not gonna change my mind

Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith
Faith of the heart

I've known a wind so cold and seen the darkest days
But now the winds I feel, are only winds of change
I've been through the fire and I've been through the rain
But I'll be fine

Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith


I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith
I've got faith
Faith of the heart

It's been a long road

Oh, it's been long road

Monday, June 27, 2011

Light at the end of the tunnel

     I just received fantastic news.  My application for assistance has been approved and my Humira shots will be arriving on Wednesday or Thursday of this week!!!  My son's birthday is on Sunday (July 3) so I am getting a present that I can share with him; the gift of Mommy being able to be Mommy again instead of a wreck who always has to apologize for things she doesn't feel like doing.    

    I realize it's been a while since my last post; but I am back.  The past few weeks have been a mixture of both good and bad days.  Thankfully none of the days have been as bad as what I experienced over the winter.  I have been able to be out enjoying some sunshine which has helped my psoriasis keep itself in check (meaning that it has not cleared but has not gotten worse either).   When I've gotten a good amount of sun the plaques will start to thin and not be so itchy, some smaller spots even clear up altogether.  However, when I've not been able to be in the sunshine for a few days I can feel the plaques getting thicker and the itching becomes almost unbearable, even with my Triamcinolone cream.
    
     On the arthritis front, I have felt generally okay over the past few weeks.  I've been having trouble with my knees though, still feeling like someone has taken a sledge hammer to them.  I have been crocheting a lot more, creating a baby afghan for a very special friend, and the weirdest thing is that my fingers are not nearly as sore as before, but my left wrist aches a lot.  Not sure if that is the arthritis or a bad case of tendonitis.  Since being off of the Prednisone (about a month now) I have lost some of the weight I gained while taking it, which feels pretty darn good, and I know it helps my joints have less pressure on them.
I am thoroughly looking forward to getting back on the medication and being able to lead a somewhat normal life again...thank God for small miracles.

     I wanted to share with you a story that was recently shared with me.  While my blog is intended to help readers understand more about psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis, it is often difficult for people to grasp what it really means to have this type of disease.  No one can sum up what it is like better than Christine Miserandino did when she developed "The Spoon Theory".  Please read her story, and then take a moment to say a prayer for anyone you know who suffers from any type of sickness or disability. 

Monday, June 6, 2011

So tired...

...of pain, of plaques, of feeling miserable, and of course, of still waiting.  I waited two weeks before calling for a status update on my new Humira application and now it has been two weeks since I first called for the update and I can't even get anyone at the clinic to call me back.  I have to pick up a prescription tomorrow so I will be asking someone face to face about this because I am seriously starting to get upset.  I want some relief from all of this misery instead of having to put on a happy face for the world every day and try to pretend that everything is okay.  IT IS NOT!  I am to the point that most of the time I just want to scream.  I am constantly irritated and that upsets me because even little things drive me right up the wall.  It is not easy to deal with a husband and a 3 (in one more month) year old when all you feel like doing is snapping everyone's head off since you can't just go back to bed and ignore them. 
I would beg for Calgon to "take me away" except that I can't sit down in the bathtub anymore, and the shower chair isn't low enough for me to feel the benefits of soaking in a bath, so that would be pointless.  *sigh*